The following letter was presented to my Mom on Mother’s Day 2008

PRAISE AT THE CITY GATE

An Open Letter and Tribute to MY Proverbs 31 Mom – Martha Jean Balzer Douglass

(Random Thoughts and Memories from her eldest son on her 80^th Birthday)

 

Proverbs 31: 10  A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. 11  Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.

12  She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

13  She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.

14  She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.

15  She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. 16  She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. 17  She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.

18  She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.

19  In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.

20  She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.

21  When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. 22  She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

23  Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. 24  She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. 25  She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.

26  She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

27  She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.

28  Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:

29  “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”

30  Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

31  Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.  

Daddy Found a Gem

 

Proverbs 31: 10  A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. 11  Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.

 

Born May 3, 1928 to Willy and Birdie Balzer in the little town of Driscoll, Tx., who would have known the only daughter of a cotton ginner/farmer would be found by a returning WWII veteran who lived only 9 miles down the road?  God did.  Having watched your marriage over my 58 years as your eldest son, I know that my Dad is one of the wisest, smartest, and most discerning men I have ever met.  Not only did he see your outward beauty, but he knew he was getting a diamond, worth far more than a ruby, when he found you.  I am fascinated and intrigued by the husband/wife relationship you have enjoyed over the last 60+ years.   Dad surely must have seen you servants heart, deep faith in God, the fruit of the Holy Spirit at work within you, your German work ethic, your faithfulness and dependability as the only daughter of a widowed mom and the caring loving older sister of a physically handicapped (deaf) older brother.  Surely he saw some of the same characteristics Boaz saw in Ruth in the Old Testament and said to himself and prayed, “ God, could I please have a diamond like that?”  and God graciously said “yes”!  For that, I am truly grateful to my Heavenly Father.  For I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you would not have dated, much less married, Dad if you had not been prompted by the Holy Spirit. 

   You Have Brought Daddy Good All 60+ Years 

Proverbs 31: 12  She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

 

For those of us who have watched, up close and from afar, we have marveled at your determination, perseverance, and exemplary steadfastness.  Never have I heard one disrespectful word towards Dad from his wife in these last 58 years.  There have been numerous times I have sensed you were perturbed, putout, inconvenienced, and even in disagreement.  Yet in all those times you worked hard to esteem him.  As the eldest son, I have marveled on numerous occasions as to “how does she do that”…keep her cool when Dad is so hard to handle…especially since his wreck and physical limitations.   I surmise that it is truly a work of the Holy Spirit within you for there is no human explanation.  You have done him good, not harm, all the days of your life and his life as well.  Your example has served me well over the dating and single years when looking and praying for God’s mate for me.  I go on record saying that this guy looked for someone “like his mom” and has been blessed on two occasions to find wives  with many of your godly characteristics.  A man is most blessed to have a mate stand by his side through thick and thin as you have shown by standing by Dad as his “helpmate” all these years.

   You Have Worked With Eager Hands 

Proverbs 31: 13  She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.

 

A mother’s hands are always special and carry many memories.  Whether it was patting my little sister’s behind to put her to sleep when she said, “pat it hunkit’”; applying tincture of aconite to asp bites; pulling out splinters with tweezers; working long hours on hands and knees picking beans; washing clothes to hang on the clothes line; sitting at a sewing machine; typing and retyping on the  old typewriter my Charlemagne paper in 9^th grade; stirring the icing in the bowel that I would eventually get to lick; digging black gumbo clay out of shoe grooves;  pushing a steam iron over starched shirts at the ironing board; sowing/ironing on patches over the knee holes in blue jeans; teaching me and the Beginner Sunday School class “Deep and Wide” and “This Little Light of Mine”; holding a damp wash clothe to my fevered head when throwing up; holding my hands to help me write cursive letters; holding my hand while we prayed before walking into Nancy’s funeral service at First Baptist Church, Corpus Christi; playing “Follow Me” on the old piano; holding and changing grandbabies while giving motherly advice to a daughter-in-law who had lost her mom to death at an early age; …yes, gentle hands that always meant, “everything is going to work out and we’ll be o.k.”…a mother’ presence.

  You Have Brought Food from A Far 

Proverbs 31: 14  She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.

 

Whether it was peaches from Fredricksburg, strawberries from Poteet, figs from Arties trees, tomatoes and beans from the garden, or corn on the cob shucked under the old hackberry tree,…loading the freezer for the winter and preparing for your family was always a “family event” that we got to share.  Even the 15 acres of cantaloupes that David and I sold on the side of  the road for spending money was a “family event”.   Thanks for the memories…especially your hand cranked homemade ice cream recipe.

Not to mention the trips to town to get groceries at H.E.B. and the fish, geese, dove, rabbits that we killed or caught that you painstakingly prepared so we could enjoy the thrill of eating what we had conquered.

 

I remember the “food from a far” when we would be working late and you and Jean Carol would bring meals to the field … I would be hungry and have one eye on the turn row waiting for you…nobody could make iced tea like you.

  You Got Up Early 

Proverbs 31: 15  She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.

 

Some of my fondest memories are the early mornings in the winter and getting up and eating oatmeal with cinnamon toast on the oven door make-shift table with the heat coming out of the oven…Wow! Was it cold or what?  The old drafty farm house was hard to heat, but you got up before sun up to get the oven ready for David and I to eat and be warm.  Later on, in the summers, we would get up before sunrise to go grease the cotton picker …and  you would get up to get breakfast ready for us when we would come in from the barn to a big meal.   (Oops! Sorry, there were no servant girls…only J.C. J)

  You Are A Hard Working Woman 

Proverbs 31: . 16  She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. 17  She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.

18    She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.

 

I am continually amazed at your strength and stamina.  I have never known a harder working woman.  Some would attribute it to farm life, others would attribute it to your German (Balzer) heritage and work ethic…both would probably be partially right, but I believe it is much deeper than occupation and work ethic.  Knowing you, I truly believe that it is a deep commitment to give your Lord and Saviour your very BEST, with excellence…to His honor and glory.  Over the years I have watched your deep faith lived out and scripture exemplified through your life.   Much of who you are is a reflection and out living of the spiritual gifting that was bestowed upon you at your salvation by the Holy Spirit.  You definitely have the servant gifts of helps, mercy, and giving.  Most of my life you have done without so others could be blessed.  As your children, we were blessed to be on the receiving end of your gifts.  Even when there was drought…no crop…you always found enough money for a piano lesson or a “little spending money” for a date.  We never went without…yet looking back, many Christmases you got little so we could have much.   As a recipient of God’s goodness through you…THANK YOU!

 

Even at age 80, you are like the Energizer Bunny that keeps on going…going…going.  Even last week you said, “I don’t feel old…I don’t feel like someone who is one of the “elderly”….Mom, you have to be the “youngest 80 year old I know”.   Keep using your spiritual gifts for His glory and I’ll bet He will let you be the youngest 100 year old, ever. 

 

Thanks for using your spiritual gifts for His glory….not only are your children blessed, BUT Daddy is MOST blessed to have you as his “primary care giver”.

  You Have Always Had Open Arms 

Proverbs 31: 19  In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.

20  She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.

21  When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. 22  She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

 

You have always been a team with Dad when it came the youth ministry of Central Baptist Church, Robstown.   When Dad would invite some of the guys from his class out to goose hunt, work on the farm or at the gin, or plan a New Years Eve hayride, it was YOU (with open arms and a quiet servants heart) that did the hard work behind the scenes adding water to the bean pot and making each guy his favorite dessert.  While Dad was being a Dad to the fatherless, you were being mother to the motherless and a godly example of what a spirit filled wife ought to be….both of you set examples for the next generation and we are forever grateful.

 

The old adage, “Behind every great man, there is a woman who made him the man he became…behind every Napolean, there is a Josephine”.   When Dad has gotten his accolades as the boisterous one and the one most noticed, we have all known that Ransom Douglass would not have been half the man he is if it weren’t for a Martha Jean.  So let it be said,  “Behind a Ransom Douglass there is a Martha Jean who made him a man”.  

  You Speak With Wisdom and Faithful Instruction  

Proverbs 31: 23  Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. 24  She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. 25  She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.

26    She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. 

Those who know you best know that this a true statement about your character and person.  As a child I got to observe and experience first hand a godly woman who gave godly counsel and know how to pray for and with others.  When you would give me godly counsel, I learned early on to LISTEN because it was the Holy Spirit speaking through you.  You gave me godly counsel and by God’s grace I received it and God used you to keep me from marrying the wrong person(s).  THANK YOU from the depths of my heart for being faithful in imparting godly wisdom to me.   (Also, I always have loved to hear you sing and pray…noone can do those two things like a Mom!)

I think you know, but let me say it….your opinion has always mattered most.  I always sought your counsel when it came to dating and courtship.  I have been most blessed.  You taught me to be teachable and listen to the Holy Spirit in others.  For the record, I am one of those who looked for some of the same characteristics in a wife as I saw in my Mom.  You were a great measuring stick.  For that I was and am doubly blessed.  Both of my wives have many of your godly character traits. 

Thanks for not being stingy with your wisdom.  I remember the many times you would drag the telephone into the dining room so you could privately invest in young women like Linda and Verna Lou.  Thanks for pouring into many, many lives TRUTH that changes lives and preserves marriages.

  Today is THE Day I Get to Rise and Call You BLESSEDBecause You Surpass All Other Moms In My Book 

Proverbs 31: 27  She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.

28  Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:

29  “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”

30  Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. 31  Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate. 

As I use this opportunity to say THANK YOU, Mommie …I Love You!, Most of All I thank my Lord Jesus Christ for giving me a godly Mom who fears the Lord.  More important than being my mother, is the fact that you are first and foremost my sister-in-Christ.  The most exciting part of all of this is that is only the BEGINNING, we’ll spend eternity together worshipping our King, Redeemer…singing (and playing the piano) for Him.  Thanks for showing all of us…JESUS in you!

(This article appeared in the Investor’s Business Daily newpaper on Friday, May 2, 2008 in the section entitled “Leaders & Success”  and was written by Curt Schleier–  notes at the end are mine). 

Sailor John Paul Jones Had Not Yet Begun to Fight  

AIM HIGH:  The naval officer’s guts and determination helped the new American nation crest to victory against the British

The way John Pual Jones saw it, you should do something 100% right or you shouldn’t do it at all.  More than anything, he wanted to be a naval officer.  As a child he pretended to be admiral of a fleet of rowboats manned by his friends.  He spent years apprenticing at sea to learn top-notch sailing skills. 

 But when the Continental Congress offered him his own ship, Jones (1747-92) turned it down. 

Though he had experience, it wasn’t on the kind of vessel being offered — a 70-foot, single-masted sloop.

  “He explained that he wasn’t confident that he could sail the sloop, whose giant gaff rig main sail was tricky and dangerous to handle… He thought he could learn more by taking a post as a No.2 aboard a larger, square-rigged ship,” biographer Evan Thomas wrote in “John Paul Jones: Sailor, Hero, Father of the American Navy.”

Self-improvement was a Jones constant.  Even after his victories at sea, he continued studying ships and tactics.  That focus helped hom become a Revolutionary War hero and jump-start the U.S. Navy.

John Paul–he added Jones to his name later–was the son of a landscaper on a large estate in Scotland.  His proximity to wealth and influence, however, couldn’t get him an appointment to the royal navy’s midshipman’s berth, an opportunity that required social connections. 

Jones refused to let his disappointment deter him or his ambition.  So at age 13 he signed on as an apprentice on a ship.  Eagerly watching older sailors, practicing knots on his own and asking constant questions, he mastered the seaman’s trade.

In Jamacia, he caught a ride back to Scotland on the ship John.  The ship’s captain died en route, and Jones was the only one aboard with the skills to navigate  the ship across the Atlantic.  On the lookout for opportunity, he jumped at the chance.   When he brought the ship home safely, the owners rewarded him with his first command, at age 21.

Fastidious about his ship, Jone wasn’t easy to work for.  However, he was devoted to good seamanship and demanding of himself.  This inspired confidence from the sailors under his command.

“They usually distrusted captains who were slack or sloppy,” Thomas wrote.  “Taut ships were happy ones if every man knew his duty and the captain showed steadiness and good seamanship.”

Jones’ successes won him larger commands on merchant ships.

He was in Philadelphia when the Colonies declared their independence.  Remembering how cruelly the British had treated his Scottish forebearers and kept him from the Royal Naval Academy, Jones decided it was time for action.

He volunteered with the Colonies.

After turning down his first posting, he received a commission as a lieutenant and landed an assignment to the Alfred.

The odds weren’t in his favor.  At the time, Britain ruled the waves.  The U.S. had just a few ships manned by sailors ready to desert at the first sign of adversity.  Many of those who stayed were more interested in snaggin their share of booty from captured merchant vessels than in fighting the British.

Jones knew the best chance of surviving–and winning–lay in perfect execution. So he drilled his gun crews again and again.

Despite his victories, life was rough.  Keeping crews motivated was difficult on long sails.  Politics and favoritism resulted in promotions for less talented officers.  But he refused to let his spirits sink.  “Unwilling to look back, he was able to forge ahead,” Thomas wrote.

Jones kept his sights on the broader horizon.  He bombarded the Continental Congress’ Marine Committee with suggestions for inprovements, because he envisioned the U.S. as a might sea power.

Jones speant hours thinking about ways to capitalize on the Navy’s strengths.  Figuring that a strong offense might be a strong defense, Jones recommended that the U.S. capture the island of St. Helena, off the coast of Africa.  He suggested that the Navy sail off the coast of England, attacking British towns.

His constant arguments finally persuaded officials, and Jones traveled to France.  There he sailed specifically to run interference with British merchant ships.

In 1779, the French gave him an old ship, which he renamed the Bonhomme Richard.

In the fall of that year, he set sail with several other ships and encountered British merchant ships and the HMS Serapis.  His accompanying vessels, out of fear or greed, aboandoned him.  Determined to stand his ground, Jones decided to fight the larger warship on his own.

The battle lasted more than four hours.  His ship came close to sinking (and did sink the next day).  Yet Jones refused the opposing captains call for surrender.  While historians have no proof that he said “I have not yet begun to fight,” they agree that he might have said something similar.

Jones had prepared for the battle.  He’d placed marksmen high in the rigging, the better to fire downward on the enemy; most other captains feared that flintlock weapons could cause the sails to burn.  Then one of the sailors up high threw grenades into the open hold of the Serapis, causing its munitions to explode and the battle to end.

It was the first naval victory of the Revolutionary War.

Lessons Learned:

1.  Know your own strengths, weaknesses, and inadequacies and place yourself in possitions to learn from others.

2.  There is no such thing as “over preparation” while choosing your tasks wisely and striving for excellence.

3.  Know your enemy (Satan for one) and use “grenades” of prayer to blow up enemy ships.

4.  Lead by example and be willing to take calculated risks

5.  Being careful to know what to say “yes” and “no” to when it comes to opportuities

6.  Don’t let anyone rob you of your focus or vision. ..don’t look back (Luke 9:62)

7.  Self improvement needs to be a constant in a leader’s life…leaders are distrusted when they are sloppy.

8.  Being self demanding inspires confidence in others…everyone likes a taut ship.

9.  Don’t let discouragement render you helpless…it’s the stuff that perseverance is made of …fight the “good fight of faith” (I Tim. 6:12) … when everyone else wants to quit, let them hear you say “I have not yet begun to fight”.

10.  Stand alone, even when others abandon you (like Jesus).

Besides the fellowship with other Kingdom builders, the conference highlights were numerous:  The top three for me were as follows:

1. Highlight 1-  One of the most “thought provoking” sermons I’ve ever heard on the topic of the Kingdom of God was presented by Dr. Tim Keller, pastor of Redeemer Presbyterian Church, NYC.   His overarching thesis being that the kingdom of God is like a three legged milk stool: Leg 1 - the incarnation of Christ; Leg 2 - the atonement of Christ; Leg - the Second Coming of Christ.  Excellent presentation of a sometimes difficult subject.

2.  Highlight 2 - The pre-conference intensive 2 day workshop with Dr. Mark Williams and Kevin Marsico of Dynamic Church Planting International where they did an eight hour intensive on Mother and Daughter Church Relationships.  It was well worth the expense, time, and investment.  It was offered under the conference theme:  “The DNA of Reproducing Churches”.   It was a very practical and stretching conference.

3.  Highlight 3 -  The “Transformissional Coaching” seminar led by Steve Ogne was very beneficial in terms of thinking strategically as a coach.   Thanks, Steve.

Still processing conference data…more to come from the pump being primed!

As church planters, it is easy to procastinate tackling the inevitable when it comes to dealing with controversal issues. All of us like to be liked and most don’t cherish the thought of being labeled. Besides, we are to be “seeker friendly” and not offend those we are trying to reach. The big question: “When do you take an stand on a controversial issue?”

May I be so bold as to suggest that a church planter MUST take a stand when the opportunity presents itself. If not, then the stage is being set for a message of confusion and mixed signals being sent to those who watch our ministry. James the Apostle states that “a double minded man is unstable in all his ways.” We can come across as being double minded and thus bring confusion into the congregation.

A number of years ago I was visiting the San Antonio zoo with my family and was privileged to have had a lengthy conversation with the elephant keeper. I had observed that the elephant was “chained to a stake” and was curious as to how such a small stake could hold such an enormus beast in it’s place. The zoo keeper explained that as soon as a baby elephant begins to get rambunctious, trying to test his strength, the staff of the zoo will quickly drive down a huge stake that can’t be pulled up by the baby elephant. After trying many times unsuccessfully, the baby elephant will finally give up and concede never trying to pull up the stake again. The elephant, as it grows, never trys to pull up the stake, because it learned early on its boundaries and capabilities. As a huge adult, it never crosses the elephants mind to test the chain and the stake.

In the same way, a church planter MUST get a chain and stake on the “elephants in the room” or run the risk of the elephant getting loose later on when the congregation is much larger and the damage can be far greater.

As a veteran church planter, I remember waiting too long to address an “elephant in the room” and four years after the church was planted, the elephant finally broke loose and we lost 90 members who were hurt and disillusioned. If it had been clearly defined early on, then the aftermath would not have been so devastating. In all fairness, those in a new church plant need to know the parameters, boundaries, and stances on various controversial issues as soon as they surface. A new church planter MUST get a chain and stake on the young elephant, to spare the congregation pain later on.

The chain and stake are the convictions, precepts, doctrines, and principals that will define the church. Whether it be the issue of ordaining homosexuals or taking a stand to “signs and wonders”, a church planter needs to be a person who has prayed, fasted, and thought through how to take a biblical stand in a loving way that will not bring confusion. May God help church planters become good elephant tamers!

For church planters and other leaders, it is imperative to address the “Elephants in the Room” on the front end of a ministry, instead of a later in the life of a new church. Delaying addressing the Elephants in the Room (those things we avoid discussing at all costs), will cost us greater later on. The Herd of Elephants is huge, controversial, and dangerous. When an elephant steps on you it H-U-R-T-S, and can even kill. There have been way too many casualties in church situations where the elephants stampeded. In subsequent blogs we will address some of the elephants in the room and challenge every christian to leader to PRE - determine how they are going to handle the charging elephant BEFORE the fact.

Having had several friends who have gone on live safaris, it is imperative to determine the strategy BEFORE the beast makes its move. A good strategy for handling an elephant could be the difference in life or death. Some of the elephants facing 21st century church leaders are: divorce, calvinism, homosexuality, abortion, eldership/deaconship, abortion, co-habitation vs. marriage, same sex marriage, alcohol useage, pornography, abuse, tithing, ordination of women, euthenasia, church discipline, …. just to name a few elephants that can stampede, charge, turn into a rogue, or stomp a village.

Ever heard the old elephant joke: Question: “What is the black stuff between an elephant’s toes? Answer: Slow moving pigmies.” In the case of a church planter it could be slow acting pastors, leadership and congregants.

The differences and similarities are numerous between these two fictitious folk heroes. Both are champion warriors who always win their fights a la Hollywood. There the similarities end. Rambo ages and changes enemies. Early on he fights in Viet Nam, now he goes after terrorists some 30 years later. For the Lone Ranger, he never ages his enemies never change. He is fighting either outlaws or Indians on the warpath. The Lone Ranger was the hero of the Builder generation…Rambo is now the hero of the Me Generation that has tried to be an Army of One. Rambo is a loner and the Lone Ranger always needed Tonto.

For many, today, the idea of having a Tonto is foreign…both for the Lone Ranger and for the one desiring to be a Tonto. We are fast loosing the art of knowing how to build deep lasting relationships that will fight and last to the death. We have never been taught how to build those relationships…they are awkward. The WW2 generation understood being in the foxhole together. Most of us don’t understand and have never been in a life or death foxhole. Much less totally dependent on another to “have our back”. Yet in every social setting we all need Tonto’s, whether it be at work, play, church, family, marriage, relationships…we find better success when have a Tonto. What father or mother doesn’t want his spouse to be his Tonto when he has to confront a rebellious son or daughter? What spouse doesn’t want their counterpart to be Tonto when getting crossways with in-laws? What executive doesn’t want his colleagues to have his back when dealing with tension in the Board of Trustees meetings? When the Boss is uptight, is it not good to know who your Tonto’s are?

Humor: There is an old story about the Lone Ranger and Tonto when they were being attacked and surrounded by an Indian war party. They are pinned down with arrows and bullets coming from all sides. The Lone Ranger looks over at Tonto and yells, “what are we going to do with all of these Indians?” Tonto replies, “What do you mean WE paleface?”

All of us need a loyal Tonto. Who are your Tonto’s and will they really have your back during the battle? Will you be a good Tonto and have their back?

Lord, Help me to not be so prideful as to reject those who want to be my Tonto. Help me humble myself and acknowledge my need for a Tonto. At the same time, teach me how to be a faithful and loyal Tonto through thick and thin. May I have the joy of having at least one relationship in my lifetime like the Lone Ranger and Tonto where there is an unspoken understanding that we are in it “to the death”.–Amen